Over Easy.

Cooking eggs always makes me think of him. Not in a lovey-dovey kind of way, but in a critical, "I dodged a bullet" kind of way.

He was not a bad man. On many levels he was pretty close to the "right" man. I had talked myself into believing that there was a chemistry and synchronicity between us that did not truly exist. I was, at the time, so desperate to have the dream. I was willing to lie to myself just to obtain the things that I thought I was missing, the husband, the family, a globetrotting lifestyle.

I wonder how people stay in relationships just for material gain or appearances. I wonder how they live in these loveless interactions day in and day out. Life without passion for the person that they have chosen to spend eternity with.

Look, I know that every single day in a relationship is not going to be bliss. I'm just saying that shouldn't some of them be? Perhaps, the majority? Just seems logical to me that if I have to live with a person for the rest of my natural life I should love them enough to want to work it out. I shouldn't think about bolting every time we disagree. I certainly shouldn't have to lay next to them thinking they are the biggest mistake I ever made.

With him, I could have easily gotten those things in life that everyone seems to treasure. Yet, every day I would have felt empty because he was not who I would have chosen for me. Nonetheless, cooking eggs always makes me think about him.